Kids rarely rise above their parents’ level of exceptionalism . . .  or mediocrity.

In a world of participation trophies and tenth-place ribbons, extraordinary people are increasingly rare. It’s not due to a lack of knowledge. We’re more knowledgeable than ever. It’s also not due to education. More people are educated too. So why is extraordinary not ordinary? Of the many reasons that mediocrity runs rampant, I believe the main culprit is a crisis of character.

The key to being an extraordinary kid is having parents who model extraordinary character. Your kids won’t inherit a financial fortune if you lack financial wealth, and they won’t inherit a fortune of character if you aren’t a wealth of character. Therefore, we need to pursue character like hidden treasure because we can’t pass down what we don’t possess.

No one wants to do mediocre work at a mediocre job, drive to a mediocre home, hug a mediocre spouse, play with mediocre kids, pray to a mediocre god, eat mediocre food, and one day have mediocre friends stand over a mediocre tombstone engraved, “Here lies Bob. He was mediocre.” But if you take whatever society and circumstances give you, your kids will inherit mediocrity. Thus, why my “X” Secret Sauce character quality is Xtraordinary – the effect of character.

Xtraordinary:  The effect of character

If extraordinary was a simple recipe, it would be ordinary. But extraordinary isn’t a checklist, a formula, or a Google download. It’s the effect when extraordinary people consistently live remarkably, inspiringly, and exceptionally. It’s highly unusual because few people stir up, stand with, and step out for what’s right. But I’ve been blessed to know many such heroes who uniquely affect others with the effects of extraordinary character.

Inevitably, these heroes are learners who find hope amidst trials. They don’t seek trials, but they seek to learn the Apostle Paul’s secret for hope: “We also celebrate in our tribulations, knowing that tribulations bring about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint” (Rom 5:3-5a).

Hopeful kids aren’t born. They’re forged. Lesson by lesson. Trial after trial. Each trial births perseverance, character, and hope. This isn’t a quick fix or prepackaged recipe. It’s a secret sauce unique to your family that marinates and sautés slowly through trials. That’s why I encourage parents to choose their own 26 A-to-Z secret sauce of character qualities for their family . . . so that by living them out, you’ll help your kids find extraordinary hope when they’re parents too.

Participation trophies or Purposeful trophies

If you want your kids to win purposeful trophies, not participation trophies, know which is the cause and which is the effect. A character-filled culture is the cause. Extraordinary is the effect. Extraordinary parents aren’t necessarily better than others, but they’re the best possible version of themselves. They can raise fantastic students because they hold themselves to fantastic standards. They can have high expectations of their kids because their kids already see how it’s done. And their kids can believe in themselves because they believe it their parents.

While I love my 26 character qualities, you’ll prefer yours because God made you to be unique. For example, the 320 A-to-Z qualities at www.timalba.com can create 7 octillion combinations. That’s a 7 with 27 zeros. Therefore, the secret to passing down a godly legacy isn’t the specific 26 words you choose; it’s how to choose to live out those 26 words. Whatever qualities you choose, live them in the most remarkable, inspiring, and exceptional ways possible. Why? So that regular ol’ kids can learn from regular ol’ parents how to become extraordinary examples of character.

The Bible is full of regular ol’ people that God used in extraordinary ways. Gideon was cowering when God called him to lead a nation. Esther was a young exile who became the queen. Moses lead the exodus despite a speech impediment. Peter and John were unlearned, yet turned the world upside down. They all became extraordinary heroes because they chose extraordinary character . . .  not the character that wins participation trophies.

What’s your “X” character quality?

Examples of “X” character qualities include: Xacting, Xamining, Xcellence, Xceptional, Xciting, Xemplary, Xperiencing, Xplore, Xpressive, Xtraordinary, Xuberant, or pick your own. Click here for a Free Printable Workbook, instructions and 300 A-to-Z character qualities to choose from.

Questions: Would your kids describe your character as phenomenal, outstanding, and spectacular, or do they have to look to others for that kids of extraordinary example? What “X” word captures the spirit of the character you want for your family, and why?