You are the greatest influence in your child’s life. No one can take Mom’s place. No one. The question isn’t if you shape your kids. . . it’s how are you shaping your kids?

Are you creating in your kids a hunger and thirst for God? Granted, only they can choose to partake of the Lord’s harvest. Only they can choose to read God’s Word when you’re not there. Only they can make your faith their own. But are you preparing them to choose well?

Here are the last three myths of motherhood to help you prepare your kids to choose well, especially when you’re not there. Are you preparing your kids to be compelling godly adults, not just compliant kids? For when you see kids as who they can become, not just who they are now, you help them become hungry and thirsty for the things of God.

 

10 Myths of Motherhood: #8 – 10:

Myth #8: Let the church teach your kids

We were blessed with a church that partnered with us in raising godly kids. But we’ve seen a sad trend – parents expect a church to do a parent’s job. After Sunday School, many parents ask their kids, “What Bible verse and song did you learn today?” . . . and they want to be impressed. But in parenting seminars, Anna says: “What if Sunday School teachers asked your kids, ‘What Bible verse and song did you learn at home this week?’”

If Anna asked your child, would she be impressed? Church partners are great, but the #1 place for kids to learn about Jesus is at home. And that’s your job.

 

Truth #8: Create teachable moments everywhere

My kids were blessed that Anna is the opposite of spiritually passive – a master of teachable moments. Despite being a dutiful follower, Anna transforms into a proactive conveyer of God’s love with kids through flowers and rain and fingers and butterflies and food . . . anything they understand. What teachable moments are you creating in everyday life?

Question: Do you let a church teach your kids OR do you help kids find God everywhere?

 

Myth #9: Give kids plenty of choices

We often treat kids as if choices are a right, instead of a privilege. We think we’re being kind by giving kids open-ended options, teaching them independence, and hoping they’ll choose well. But we’re doing the opposite – we’re feeding their discontentment. And a discontented heart is a bottomless pit. We need to train kids to be like the Apostle Paul – content, but never satisfied with themselves.

Truth #9: Lead kids to choose with fewer options

When it comes to giving kids options, less is more. Seal off the pit of discontentment by giving them tools for joy. For example, give choices when they’re thankful and obedient. Lay out options when they ask respectfully. Either-or choices give them comfort and clarity, but open-ended questions confuse and overwhelm. Leading kids with fewer, proper options shows them how to rejoice in hope, trials, and the Lord (Rom 12:12, Jam 1:2, Phil 4:4).

Question: Are you giving kids too many confusing choices OR fewer options that bring joy?

 

Myth #10: Counting to 3 gives kids time to obey

Another myth is that kids need time and space to come in line and not hurt their feelings. It sounds good, but it doesn’t prepare kids for everyday living or for eternal life. What boss counts to three ? Instead, clarify the benefits of obeying and the consequences of not. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it, but if you say it, back it up. Then again, God doesn’t count to three in the Bible because He says what He means and He means what He says . . . the first time.

Truth #10: Counting to 3 teaches kids to disobey

It’s simple actually. Delayed obedience is disobedience. Still, there’s a reason parents count to three – it works. It coerces kids to act when they hear the “th” of three. But coerced obedience also isn’t obedience. Obedience is about alignment, not compliance. If your kids copied your example, would they obey immediately with a graceful heart? Or would they wait begrudgingly until the last possible minute as if God was saying the “th” of three?

Question: Are you coercing & hoping for compliance OR leading your kids to truly obey?

Special thanks to my wife, Anna – the master of motherhood – for helping create these 10 Myths of Motherhood. You’ll find the entire series of 10 Myths of Motherhood and 10 Fallacies of Fatherhood at www.timalba.com. Also, you’ll find information about my book, Well Done, Mom & Dad!: A Practical Guide to Turn Good Intentions into Godly Legacies (release: Tuesday, September 7), at www.WellDoneMomAndDad.com.