Happily married 37 years. Joyfully, actually. So why do I still express my admiration to Anna? After all, she knows how I feel. Well, it’s for the same four reasons we should keep articulating appreciation for any loved one . . . four reasons I learned as a boy at, of all places, funerals.
Eulogy lessons
As the son of an organ-playing mom, I’d roll my eyes, shrug my shoulders, and get dragged off in my “Sunday” clothes to yet another funeral of some old person I didn’t know. Although I hated those countless funerals as a kid, they revealed something that I understood later as a minister – the difference it makes when loved ones have already expressed their appreciation for one another.
Sadly, many eulogies are a struggle because they’ve never before thought about why they love that person. But I’m not preparing you to eulogize people when they die; I’m challenging you to give them tributes when they’re alive. In fact, here are four compelling reasons to give a tribute to family and friends long before it’s a eulogy.
4 compelling reasons for tributes
- Others need to hear it.
No matter how much people may know they’re loved, there’s just something about being told why. Not just loved in general, but they want to know the specifics and personal details that flavor your unique relationship. Some people have the spiritual gift of giving encouragement, but everyone needs the gift of being encouraged.
- You need to say it.
As much as others need to hear it, you need to say it. You need the joy of expressing love . . . thinking it through, writing it down, and sharing it. Regardless of your lack of eloquence, it will change lives, starting with yours. And like any expression of true love, its effects depend on the grace in which it’s given, not the worthiness of the persons receiving it.
- Kids need to see it.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your kids is seeing mom and dad praise others. Kids are always watching, always learning, always shaping habits based largely on what they see in you. Kids tend to reflect what they learn to expect from you.
What do your kids expect from you? Yes, you praise your kids, but do they see you praise other people, even those who don’t deserve it? No matter how crazy society gets, you will always be the #1 molder of your kids’ hearts. Thus, kids need to see you give tributes, not blame.
- God wants to use it.
God not only wants you, He also wants to use you for His glory. Oh how God loves for us to consider all He does for us and give Him tribute. Not vague, impersonal words. He wants thoughtful, unashamed praise from our deepest soul.
But oh how God also loves for us to consider all that other people do for us and praise them too. For when we do, we’re doing what God created us to do – give praise – but, in this case, for people He died to save, which also brings Him glory.
Yes, others need to hear it, you need to say it, kids need to see it, and God wants to use it. But will you do it? Who in your life could use an insightful, personal, caring word of praise? Family members, teachers, ministers, friends, or people who invested in you and your family? Whoever they are, I encourage you to join me in a challenge . . .
A challenge
I will send a one-page tribute to one person per week for the rest of 2021. That’s 39 tributes. It’s easy to think of 39 people who have blessed me. The hard part is narrowing it down (but, hey, I don’t have to stop at 39).
How about you? Will you join me in giving tributes to loved ones? Don’t wait until it’s too late. Bless them now. Knowing it is one thing, but writing and saying it will change your relationships, your heart, your kids, and your intimacy with God.
Then again, God also knows how we feel about Him, but He never tires of hearing how we love Him. So let’s never stop telling Him too.
Questions: If a deceased loved one could hear your eulogy of them, would they be surprised? Is there anything you want to tell a loved one today? Don’t wait. Tell them today.
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