Rare is the woman who feels fully ready to be a mom. Then you have a child and realize you were right. So many responsibilities. So many roles. You’re supposed to be Dr. Mom when your kids are sick, Dr. Phil when they’re confused, and Dr. Spock when they’re needy.

The real problem, though, isn’t your readiness. God gives you what you need when you need it. The problem is false expectations. Some are place on you by society; many are self-imposed. Rather than living with these myths, though, you can live with God’s truth for you . .  . truth that not only breaks the chains of these myths, but also sets you free (John 8:31-32).

The next three blogs help moms break free of ten myths of motherhood and live in the freedom of ten related truths. Since freedom starts with understanding bondage, I pray that these myths/truths will help you break free to walk confidently in the Light of life that God intends for moms (Psalm 56:13, Psalm 89:15, John 8:12).

 

10 Myths of Motherhood: #1 – 3:

Myth #1:  Your kids’ self-esteem is everything

Self-esteem is so very important. Every child needs an overall sense of personal value and self-worth. Positive world views start with positive self-views. But the problem with self-esteem is that the person you’re valuing is you. Kids take cues from you, Mom, in learning where to draw their self-worth. If you’re all about you, or if you let kids think it’s all about them, their esteem will crumble when their world, friends, and sometimes you disappoint.

Truth #1: Your kids’ Christ-esteem is everything

There’s a better way because there’s a better who – Christ. Kids with Christ-esteem have true worth because Christ’s character is worthy. Building your kids’ Christ-esteem starts with you and who you are in Him. Then kids can know who they are in Christ, not who their feelings, society, or friends say they are. Christ-esteem is also rooted in truth spoken with grace, a combo that draws kids into a life of constant renewal, not conforming decay (John 1:14, Rom 12:2).

Question: Are you building just your kids’ self-esteem OR also their Christ-esteem?

 

Myth #2:  It gets easier as kids get older

“If I can just get past potty training, then things will get easier.” Buuuuut, then comes training wheels, training bras, and drivers training. Always another crisis. Another distraction. Thankfully, kids learn to wipe their bottom, tie shoes, and buckle seat belts, but they also learn to debate, defend, and dispute. The physical is exchanged with far more important spiritual and emotional needs. Don’t pray for your ease; prepare for their eternity. For then you don’t just live through it. You’ll live above it.

Truth #2:  It gets harder as kids get hardened

Being a mom doesn’t have to be a whoopin’, but it gets harder as kids harden. Start when their hearts are like wet cement – moldable and fluid. Yes, kids’ questions and problems get tougher, but your daily investments – listening, asking, caring, teaching, encouraging, and disciplining – will form a bonding agent that even the worst influences can’t penetrate when kids get set.

Question: Are you praying for ease OR preparing kids for eternity by molding their hearts?

 

Myth #3: Asking for help is a sign of weakness

Supermom syndrome. It’s a deal. Do it all. Give kids every advantage. You transport them to endless practices and performances, despite knowing they’ll never turn pro. And even if other moms seem to have it all together, they don’t, and you know that too. Chances are, those moms also need help, yet lack the courage to ask. Don’t act the part. Don’t wonder. Focus on what matters. And by all means ask for help. You’re not only not being weak; you’re blessing someone who wants to help.

Truth #3: Asking for help is a sign of wisdom

You don’t have to be Supermom to be a super mom. Being super, though, isn’t doing everything yourself. Ask for help from your husband, friends, and kids. Then set realistic expectations, clarify, and delegate. Find balance. Don’t assume your hubby and others are mind readers or world-class plate spinners. Be a true servant-leader who asks for help – a sign of true wisdom.

Question: Are you trying to do it all OR do you allow others to be part of the solution?

 

Next time, we’ll unpack the next four myths of motherhood: #4 If you mess up, you’ll mess up your kids; #5 Mom always knows best; #6 You can’t have bad days; and #7 You need quiet time for a quiet-time. And lest anyone think I can somehow understand what it’s like to be a mom . . . fear not. Much of this comes from my dear wife, Anna – the true master of motherhood.

For more information, check out www.timalba.com. You’ll soon find information about my book (release: August 17) as well as the entire series of 10 Myths of Motherhood and 10 Fallacies of Fatherhood. Coming soon to a phone or computer near you . . .