It’s easy to be cocky about parenting until you become one. Turns out, it’s a little scary to dive in. If only parenting came with a floatation device to keep your head above water. That’s what I saw with my dad at Molikini . . .

A tepid swimmer at best, my dad quickly agreed to join my son Josh and me on an ocean snorkel trip to Molikini’s partially-submerged volcanic crater. Josh and I did a cowabungu dive and were overwhelmed by breathtaking 150-foot crystal-clear visibility of 250 fish species. We finally realized, though, that something was wrong. My dad never left the boat. Turns out, diving in was scarier than he first thought.

After much convincing, Dad gave his floatation device the death grip, slid in, and slowly eased his head into the water. Instantly, he popped out of the water and, with bugged out eyes, proclaimed, “Tim, there’s a WHOLE new world down there!”

So too, there really is a whole new world of parenting down there if you’ll grab the help you need, take the plunge, and get below the surface. I want to help you enjoy the breathtaking joy of parenting, not just paddle around trying to keep your head above water.

My prior blog – “2 kinds of parents . . . which one are you?” – asked if you’re more like Parent A or Parent B. Parent A breaks their kids’ bad habits, fixes behavior, and stops drama. All good things. But Parent B sees kids as champions, not challenges. Parent B breaks kids’ bad habits by bonding with their hearts. They fix behavior by funneling beliefs. And they stop drama by shaping dreams. This is the first of four blogs to encourage you to prayerfully become Parent B.

We’re not trying to be perfect parents; we’re putting kids on the path to faithfulness and walking with them arm in arm. We’re preparing them to receive the faith we’re trying to pass down. Rather than pushing kids to be like you, we’re leading them to align their passions with Scripture. Here’s an overview of three parts that make this path possible.

Three parts of putting kids on the path to faithfulness

  1. Bond with their hearts

Putting kids on this path starts by bonding with their hearts. The next blog shows research on the #1 reason faith legacies get passed down: when kids bond with parents, especially their father. Beliefs and dreams are important, but, as we’ll see next time, kids need Mom and Dad to first bond with their hearts through receptivity, intrigue, and connection. Bonding creates openness.

  1. Funnel their beliefs

Next, we’ll see how to funnel kids’ beliefs. It’s been said that everyone has a hole in their heart that only God can fill. Parents can’t let someone else fill that void. Still, we can’t cram our beliefs into their life funnel or install beliefs upon them, but we can instill a legacy of beliefs within them. Kids learn to hold the funnel as we pour in godly beliefs and prepare them to do the same for decades to come. Funneling aligns families by celebrating uniqueness and creating oneness.

  1. Shape their dreams

The final part of putting kids on the path to faithfulness is shaping their dreams. Bonding unlocks. Funneling aligns. Shaping propels. We’ll see how to help kids pursue a profound future by becoming a student of their gifts and passions, nudging their rudder, and encouraging their character. Rather than living vicariously through our kids, we help them live victoriously with God-sized dreams. Shaping creates opportunities.

In the next three blogs, I’ll unpack how to create openness, oneness, and opportunities with kids. Turns out, it’s not as scary as it appears. Anna and I don’t have all the answers, but we’ll share how others have invested in us and how our family’s failures and successes might encourage and challenge you too to experience a whole new world of parenting.

Questions: How has God bonded with your heart, funneled your beliefs, and shaped your dreams? How could you to do the same with your kids or grandkids?