Oh, the joy of spoiling grandkids. You shower them in ways you never did with your own kids decades earlier. And then you brag about it!

Spoiling, though, doesn’t have to be “stuff” you buy for them. It can be a legacy you build for them. Both are treats. Stuff can make them happy for today, but legacies can make them holy for eternity.

I’ll never forget the shock of seeing my dad do it too. As a boy, I knew exactly what my dad expected of me. He was unrelenting. Stoic. Strong. Every single day. But when he became a grandpa . . . poof, everything changed. For example, after my child misbehaved, my dad gently said, “You know, Tim, you have to be patient with children.” I thought, WHAT?! Who are you, and what did you do with my dad?

Looking back, though, I can see that Dad wasn’t just spoiling his grandkids with “stuff.” He was also treating them with something far greater – loving wisdom that comes when you’re willing to learn and grow.

In the years since my dad’s epiphany of patience, I’ve been learning my own ways of treating kids and grandkids. Sure, I give them things I never would have bought decades ago, but more importantly I’m giving them something that will change their eternity . . . something that Jesus also gave His spiritual kids: SPA treatments.

3 parts of SPA treatments

  1. Stories

The “S” of SPA treatments is stories. Kids need stories, not lectures. Personal, purposeful stories connect and engage, especially when shared with transparency and humility. They break down walls and build receptivity. They create intrigue by planting seeds that grow roots now and germinate years later. I learned that kids desperately want to know the stories behind your life story – how you became who you are, especially the trials you’ve overcome.

The ultimate communicator – Jesus – was also the ultimate story teller. And His favorite way to connect with His spiritual kids was parables. Like your life stories, Jesus’ parables make memories, stir souls, and prepare future generations. Stories that put kids on the path to eternity aren’t pointless tales; they’re catalysts to open kids’ hearts for the “P” part of SPA treatments – Principles.

  1. Principles 

Principles are creative ways to share cherished wows with compelling whys. Principled parents drive personal whats by continually doing three things needed for any worthwhile principle to get passed down: 1) they choose it, 2) they live it, and 3) they articulate it.

Principles are your core and your conviction. Your rock and your fortress. They’re the foundation of an inspiring life that kids can never forget, especially when filled with authenticity and integrity. Principles enliven kids’ hearts, enlighten their imaginations, and lighten their load. Yes, you can get stuck on a principle, but that’s because you’re stuck on your ways instead of on the 3rd part of SPA treatments – the “A” of applying it to each person and situation.

  1. Applications

The greatest stories and principles mean little without personal applications. Applications draw your kids’ interest when you appeal to their interests. Therefore, you must be lifelong students of your kids. For how can kids apply the doctrine of God’s Word in their life if they can’t connect the dots of God’s plan for their life?

Then again, what grandma spoils her grandkids with kale? No, she serves up candy. But the best parents and grandparents serve up a little temporal “candy” and a lot of eternal “kale.” They find ways to connect emotionally so that they can instill spiritually healthy habits. So too, Jesus didn’t leave His disciples hanging. By intentionally applying His stories and principles to their lives, Jesus prepared them to turn the world upside down (Acts 17:6).

Dear parent or grandparent, please don’t wait. Start treating your kids with the SPA treatments they need. Your stories, principles, and applications, along with the Bible, will prepare them to treat their own kids one day with the greatest of all gifts – a legacy of loving God and loving others as yourself (Matt 22:37-40).

Questions: How did Jesus’ parables prepare his spiritual kids for eternity? In which “treatment” would your kids say you’re the best – stories, principles, or applications? Which one needs the most work?