As a young dad, I had one goal – that my kids would grow up to say two things about me:  1) I’m godly and 2) I’m their hero. Not one. Both.

Neither a distant holy man, nor a buddy without godly purpose …

Too many parents serve God, but make little impact on their own kids. The world applauds, but not their family. We can’t forget that ministry starts at home. I’m learning that my kids want a godly dad who connects with them on a deep spiritual and personal level. And parenting is all about making it easy for kids to want their own faith in God, not proving my faith.

I also was unwilling to be their buddy without purpose – heroic, but not godly. It’s not easy or fun to balance an uncompromising standards with a compelling vision. That’s why I often told my kids, “My goal isn’t that you’re happy; it’s that you’re godly.” By all means, I wanted them to be happy, but godliness leads to happiness. Therefore, my goal as a parent-leader was to help them pursue godliness.

What’s your goal as a parent

One of my greatest joys was seeing my core values become my kids’. When I looked past their youthful habits, I saw something truly miraculous – stories, teachable moments, and intentional bonding experiences taking root. They weren’t imitating my faith. They were embracing their own. Their faith and values didn’t look exactly like mine, but the family resemblance was remarkable . . . similar fruit growing from the same tree.

It starts by deciding upfront what matters and building a culture conducive to faithfulness. It continues by declaring those choices as a foundation upon which to build their faith. And it gets passed down through eternally-minded leadership, not endless lessons.  Then again, other than what God will say about me, no one’s opinion matters more to me than my family – my primary ministry responsibility.

Passion extends beyond family, but it must start there. I don’t want to be a dad who achieves worldly success but loses his family. I want to instill godliness and inspiring relationships that bond my family to God and each other. When we do, we’re ready to pass it on to others who can do the same (II Timothy 2:2).