The door to your kids’ faithfulness hinges on the authenticity of your character.

Every family has a Secret Sauce – the character qualities that meld together to form your unique family character. But are you intentionally choosing qualities that help your family open the door to embrace Christ’s character? Or are you just hoping it happens?

Over the next 26 weeks, I’ll share my family’s 26 A-to-Z character qualities (starting with Authentic and ending with Zealous), and how each one is a vow of what my kids can expect from their mom and me. And I’ll show you how you too can pass down a godly legacy to your kids by choosing, sharing, and living out your own unique Secret Sauce of family character.

Creating a family Secret Sauce starts with selecting one character quality for each alphabet letter. For example, possible “A” character qualities include: Abide / Achieve / Affirm / Admirable / Adventure / Agreeable / Aligned / Ambitious / Amiable / Appreciative / Artistic / Ascend / Attentive / Authentic / Awaken / ___ (or pick your own).

We’ll begin with why Anna and I chose our “A” character quality: Authentic.

Authentic:  The reality of character

If I made a short list of desired family traits, it would have to include authenticity – the reality of character. My family isn’t what we could be or should be, but no one has to wonder what to expect from us. For good and bad, we’re who we appear to be. Perfect? Not even close. But we strive to be real.

Being authentic isn’t “you be you.” God created you to be who He wants you to be. Not who you prefer to be. Not who people tell you to be. Not copying someone else. Our job as parents is to help kids become the best version of who God yearns for them to be. And while my kids share my passion for authenticity, here are examples of how it looks different for each of them.

Practical examples of authenticity

No one lives her chosen character more than Leslie. She too is a work in progress, but Leslie strives fearlessly to be the woman she needs to be for God and others. And her humble beau, Ryan, isn’t seeking approval because he’s already approved in Christ. With their identity set, unwavering authenticity is their heart, not just a habit. Fully present. Not pretentious or presumptive.

And I love how Josh is so comfortable in his own skin. Yes, his sweet Robyn has to say, “Josh, use your inside voice” because he’s loud and proud. But Josh is genuinely clear and consistent in his choices. And Robyn, like all my “bonus” in-law kids, complements her spouse’s weaknesses with her own strengths and unrelenting authenticity.

Then there’s Caleb. Good luck telling Caleb to be something he isn’t. Behind his sarcastic, funny jabs is a man who cares deeply, shares vulnerably, and sees courageously. Authenticity isn’t an excuse for doing what he prefers. And in Emily, he found a light whose enduring character is pure and principled . . . an answer to parents’ prayers for their kids’ spouses.

Last, there’s the glue of our family – my bride. Anna is genuine, honest, and agenda-less. She’s the epitome of WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) – the same character in private as in public. Anna is content, yet desperate to be more. Predictable, not mundane. Gracious, yet uncompromising. Beautifully bona fide beyond her outward beauty.

Is this bragging? Nope. I’m simply affirming why authenticity is a worthy cornerstone upon which to build a family. It becomes real when reliability meets routine. And it grows captivating when clarity meets consistency. We have a long way to go, but all four couples of our family picked Authentic as the “A” Secret Sauce character quality that they want to describe their family.

Being authentic in Christ comes from emulating His character. The more we emulate His character, the more we grasp His grace. And the more we grasp His grace, the more we’re compelled to live for His glory. That’s the proven, genuine, transparent, undisputable, irrefutable, ridiculously-addictive reality of character that opens the door of your kids’ hearts.

What’s your “A” character quality?

Authentic is my “A” character quality, but what’s yours? To help you choose your family’s 26 A-to-Z Secret Sauce, click here for a Free Printable Workbook. The instructions and 300 sample A-to-Z character qualities start on page 16 of this free Workbook. Start by picking your “A” character quality: Abide / Achieve / Affirm / Admirable / Adventure / Agreeable / Aligned / Ambitious / Amiable / Appreciative / Artistic / Ascend / Attentive / Authentic / Awaken / _______

Questions: How would your kids describe the reality of your character? Which “A” word best describes the character that you want for your family, and why?