We make wedding vows, promising to be a faithful spouse. So why don’t we make parenting vows, promising to be a faithful parent? We could tell our kids about the unending love and service they can expect from us, just as we did when marrying our spouse. Someone who does this is a Proverbs 31 mom – the epitome of virtue – because her kids are her “vow” unto God (Prov. 31:2).

Many years ago, I wrote a one-page document called My Vow to tell my kids what they can expect from me. It also was my vow to God, whose Word tells us what to expect from Him. I wanted to express and model for my kids what God has already expressed and modeled for us. Parenting vows can mirror traditional wedding vows like this:

“I, Dad/Mom, take you, Leslie Marie, to be my daughter, to have and hold, from this day forward. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or health, till death do us part. According to God’s Holy Scriptures, I pledge myself to you.”

I wanted my parenting vow, though, to be unique – a combination of traditional wedding vows and my family’s “Secret Sauce” – the 26 A-to-Z character qualities that I promised to give my kids. Each child received a personalized vow, like this one for my daughter and her husband:

My parenting vow (flavored with my family’s Secret Sauce)

“I, Dad, take you, Leslie Marie Medlin and Ryan Keith Medlin, to be my daughter and son-in-law, to lead you as unto Christ. I promise to have and hold you, no matter how you respond. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or health, I will love and cherish you till death do us part. According to God’s Holy Scriptures, I pledge to provide you with a home built upon these character qualities:

  • Authentic            the reality of character
  • Beliefs                  the foundation of character
  • Choices                the proof of character
  • Devoted               the depth of character
  • Encourager         the celebration of character
  • Family                  the extension of character
  • Generous             the overflow of character
  • Humor                  the light-heartedness of character
  • Integrity               the credibility of character
  • Jesus-follower   the source of character
  • Kind                       the caring of character
  • Legacy-maker    the perpetuity of character
  • Memories            the tattoos of character
  • Nevertheless      the persistence of character
  • Obedience           the position of character
  • Purposeful          the rationale of character
  • Quality                 the standard of character
  • Relational            the conduit of character
  • Servant-leader   the duality of character
  • Transforming    the metamorphosis of character
  • Unentitled           the humility of character
  • Visionary             the horizon of character
  • Well-done!         the finality of character
  • Xtraordinary      the effect of character
  • Young-hearted  the youthfulness of character
  • Zealous                 the passion of character

This I vow, I promise, I choose . . . to make it easy for you to be a faithful servant who one day hears God say, ‘Well done!'”

 

Your vow might be short, or it might be long like mine. The key isn’t the length of your vow; it’s the length you’ll go to keep it. Thus, I flavored my vow with our Secret Sauce to flavor my kids with fragrant character qualities that would hopefully flow over them and future generations.

Create your own Secret Sauce of family character

In my book, Well Done, Mom & Dad!, I share how the secret to helping kids be faithful is helping them want to be faithful. It’s not telling them what to do or how to feel. You can’t convince or force kids to be faithful. And choosing your family’s unique 26 A-to-Z “Secret Sauce” of character qualities is a fun, practical place to begin. Click here for a Free Printable Workbook with instructions and 300 sample A-to-Z character qualities that start on page 16. It’s easy and powerful. I promise.

Authentic . . . to Zealous:  26 weeks of Secret Sauce

I also went a step further by writing 26 short blogs to explain our A-to-Z character qualities – the ingredients of our family’s Secret Sauce. Over the next 26 weeks, I’ll share these blogs, starting with Authentic and ending with Zealous. And although your family’s Secret Sauce will be different than mine, my purpose in posting these blogs is to help you pass down a godly legacy to your kids by choosing, sharing, and living out your own Secret Sauce of family character.

Questions: What can your kids expect from you? Have you ever taken the time to articulate your family’s character? If not, will you take a step to start now? I’ll show you how.