Families come and go, but jobs are forever. Wait, what?!

That sad statement hits home when we consider how some families often act like it’s true. Or maybe you struggle is with loving something else. Money? Control? Beauty? Happiness? If only we’d live what we already know – that faith and family are everything. Faith and family are like conjoined twins – two separate ideas that entwine into one ideal that God loves so much, He gave His Son to redeem them both.

If you want to win the war, win the family. If you want to win the family, win their hearts. To win their hearts, win their trust. And to win their trust, know your job. Your job isn’t being your kids’ source of power; it’s being an extension cord that plugs them into God, the true source of power. Then again, that’s why Satan so vigorously attacks the family . . . it’s the extension of character.

Family:  The extension of character

Other than God Himself, nothing matters more to me than family. Family is the backbone that stabilizes society. It comes through a mom and dad, but family is more than a pedigree and an ancestry. It’s more than two kids, an SUV, and Christmas photos in matching buffalo plaid shirts. It’s how we populate our earth, but it’s also the primary way we promulgate our faith, because how our kids plug into us is how they’ll likely plug into God. But when your family plugs into you, what are they extending?

I could be a foreign missionary, but is my family my greatest mission field?

I could be a venture capitalist, but is my family’s character my most prized venture?

I could have the wisdom of Solomon, but does my family share my wisdom?

Although Solomon wrote the wisest parenting manual in history (Proverbs), he missed the mark as a parent, much like his dad, David. And David became king because of Saul’s sins. Saul became king due to Samuel’s rebellious sons. And Samuel followed Eli because Eli wouldn’t rebuke his sinful sons. Unless your family is your #1 ministry, your legacy can be one generation away from extinction.

As morbid as it sounds, writing the book Well Done, Mom & Dad! was the one thing I had to do before I die. Why? Because I had to help my kids know how to be faithful and, more importantly, want to. Every day, your character extends to your kids, but is it the character you want for them?

For their “F” Secret Sauce character quality, my kids chose Fearless, Focus, and Forgiving. All great choices. But I struggled choosing between faith and family. Since I wanted a clearer word for Faith, I used Jesus-follower for ”J,” allowing “F” to be Family. Thus, both faith and family can be part of our 26 A-to-Z qualities – two entwined parts of one offering unto God.

Don’t be like the unfaithful people in Malachi 1 who offered weak, blind, and lame sacrifices to God, and then wondered why God was mad and their family’s character was flawed. For kids to carry on a faithful legacy, kids need parents to build them up and give them back to God as an unblemished offering (as it depends on you), a sacrificial offering (that costs you everything), and a lavish offering (because God deserves your best).

When we exhibit God’s example for us, we become an extension of Him. Being part of God’s family is how He lavishes us with love (1 John 3:12), welcomes us into His household (Eph. 2:19), and adopts us as His own (Eph. 1:5). Kids need a family that points them to the God whose overflowing character extends long after they’re gone . . . a family whose hearts bear a remarkable resemblance to their Heavenly Father.

If we will, our kids never again need to be fearful. Never again feel alone. They can live with the assurance of being adopted into God’s family and extensions of His grace. Why? Because God doesn’t come and go. He’s forever . . . even if we don’t look perfect with matching buffalo plaid.

What’s your “F” character quality?

Here are examples of “F” character qualities to choose from in choosing your family’s 26 A-to-Z Secret Sauce: Facilitate, Fair, Faithful, Family, Fearless, Fellowship, Fervent, Fidelity, Flexible, Flourish, Focus, Forgiving, Friend, Fulfill, Fun, Funny, and Futuristic.

Click here for a Free Printable Workbook, instructions, and 300 sample A-to-Z character qualities.

Questions: How is your family an extension of your relationship to God? What “F” word captures the essence of the character you want for your family, and why?