Laughter isn’t the opposite of anger; it’s the opposite of hopeless and joyless.
There’s nothing like an infant’s laugh. Their little giggles melt your heart and make you wonder what they’ll be like when they’re grown. Hearty laughter helps your body by relieving stress, triggering endorphins, and easing pain. But humor also helps your soul. It breaks barriers, softens disputes, and strengthens bonds. And, more importantly, levity brings hope and joy.
Great humor makes great memories. But not all my humor is well received, like when I said, “Hey, kids, did you know Mom’s on a diet?” Yes, I should have stopped right there, but for some stupid reason I continued: “Yeah, she’s only eating with one hand.” Dead silence. Even my young sons knew I really messed up. But, good news, I never made that mistake again. Nope. Just once.
Still, despite my occasional lapses of judgment, humor shaped awesome family memories. It was one of the few things that bonded me with my teenage daughter. It helped us overcome heartache, disarm disputes, and transcend troubles. It soothed and enlivened the rough spots of raising kids. Not mean-spirited. No cheap laughs. Never profanity-laden. Just good-natured jabs, silly satire, and ironic observations to lighten the mood, lighten the load, and lighten the heart.
The only chance I had to get a girl like Anna was humor. It wouldn’t happen due to my good looks, ripped muscles, or winsome personality. After decades of marriage, I asked Anna how we ended up together, despite all our differences. She just smiled and said, “Because you make me laugh.” Then again, humor is the only chance for many of us who marry way above our head.
Humor is just one of many “H” character qualities: Happy, Heart, Heaven-minded, Heighten, Heritage, Heroic, Holiness, Honest, Honorable, Hopeful, Hospitable, Humble, and Humor. I initially wanted Humble or Heroic, but chose similar words for U and L: Unentitled and Legacy-maker. And you’ll see later why N-Nevertheless is a more powerful version of Holy. No, Anna and I needed our H character quality to be Humor – the light-heartedness of character.
Humor: The light-heartedness of character
Humor can exist in virtually any situation. Yes, there are times to mourn, but there’s almost always a lighter side if you’ll look for it (Eccl. 3:4). Some of the most joyful people I’ve met are battling the worst trials. For example, Eric and Leslie Bartel shared horrible days when their precious little Annabelle Grace battled cancer. Nevertheless, the Bartels were a joy-filled inspiration to thousands of people, finding humor when life was anything but humorous.
Laughter bridges the gaps between disjoined generations. Needless to say, our family didn’t always see eye to eye. For example, after explaining boys’ intentions to my fourteen-year-old daughter, she pronounced, “Oh, Dad, you don’t know boys!” We didn’t laugh then, but it’s one of countless inside jokes and stories that bond us together. What are your family’s inside jokes? Italian dogs, Dramamine, and the Trevi Fountain mean nothing to you, but they make my family laugh every time we bring them up.
Humor distracts from struggles and redirects to better moments. It helps us not take ourselves so seriously when we fail and it keeps us humble when we succeed. It attracts us to people who choose well. And it’s proof that pretty girls really do like boys who make them laugh.
Thankfully, I learned from the best – people like Jeff “I’m just trying to keep my chins up” Hetsel, Robin Westmoreland (who called me “Holy Roller Controller”), Jeff Berggren, Mark Easley, Joe Flanigan, Josh Merriott, and more. These people use the light-heartedness of character to find hope and joy, even when life seems anything but hopeful and joyful. They are living examples of Proverbs 17:22: “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
What’s your “H” character quality?
I hope to help you pass down a godly legacy to your kids by choosing, sharing, and living out your own Secret Sauce of family character. Click here for a Free Printable Workbook with instructions on how to choose your family’s 26 A-to-Z Secret Sauce ingredients.
Questions: How well do you, amidst life’s challenges, find the light-heartedness of character? What “H” word captures the heart of the character you want for your family, and why?
Awesome post, Tim. Tons of great truths in this post. Just excellent. Thanks for the name check.
Ahhh, humor. Started off as something valuable that I appeared to have a little more of than others when I was a kid. Probably just like you. Then, unfortunately, in retrospect it turned into too much of a defense mechanism as I moved into young adulthood.
But as I have grown older, I have realized that humor truly is a large part of my full world view, and in a positive way. As in a crisis, learning to respect everyone and the moment and STILL crack a good gallows humor line that imparts “this ain’t nuthin’, things could be much worse. As far as I can tell, nobody’s missed a meal yet.” That’s always my goal, still trying to meet it as time goes on. Try to keep that as a big part of my own internal view of the world as well. If we can’t laugh, what’s the point?
Yep, you, Berggren, Engstrom, Wilcoxson, etch. Holy Cow. Fun days.
Great post, Tim!!! You ALWAYS make me laugh. Always great silly positive humor. Or as the British say, humour.
One humble man’s view.