Kindness oozes from your pores when it flows through your veins.

How is it possible? How could Corrie Ten Boom forgive her cruel Nazi concentration camp captor when she saw him after the war? How could Sharletta Evans forgive and embrace her son’s killer as if he was her own child? And how about you? How can you forgive someone who hurts you?

It’s possible when Christ’s kindness covers you from head to toe. Like little Ralphie’s brother in the movie, A Christmas Story, you can cover your kids’ hearts with layer after layer of Christ’s forgiveness that protects them in even the most frigid seasons of life.

My life trials pale in comparison to Corrie and Sharletta, but we all choose our response to crises. When I was told I wasn’t smart enough to be an accountant, I didn’t know I’d become a CFO. When a minister wrongly accused me of fraud, I didn’t know I would later become a minister. And when a college professor degraded my daughter, I didn’t know she’d graduate with great skills and lifelong friends. In each case, I only knew one thing: I had to heed Nathan’s advice.

My dear friend, Nathan Jones, taught me many lessons, but the hardest and most important one was this: “Kill ‘em with kindness.” No matter how badly people may hurt me, they can’t control me or my response. Despite my nature to fight to the bitter end – to win for myself – I’m learning to die to myself so that what wins is God’s kindness – the caring of character.

Kindness:  The caring of character

The first thing that attracted me to my wife (other than, well, you know) was her kindness. No one has to earn Anna’s kindness. She freely gives it. Rarely rattled, Anna oozes with kindness because it’s how she sees life and the Savior who gives it. “The Lord is righteous in all His ways and kind in all His deeds” (Psalm 145:17).

As a young dad, I knew that kindness covers a slew of errors. But it took years to learn how to raise kids in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, without provoking their anger (Eph.6:4). Turns out, I was missing the mark until gracious Anna pulled me aside and said, “Honey, do you know you’re almost always either laughing with the kids or upset with them?” Yikes! I was trying to help them, but, turns out, I was correcting too much and caring too little. Anna showed me that kids need both correction and care . . . but if on one side we err, let it be with care.

Every child needs cordial parents, but what they need even more is to see forgiveness and kindness lived out every day. They need care that they don’t have to earn – care that stands when everything else crumbles. They need to enjoy the family reunions shared with the many cousins of kindness.

The cousins of kindness

Kindness has many cousins, two of which are compassion and forgiveness: “Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has also forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32). Another cousin is wisdom: “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (Prov. 31:26). Four more cousins are listed in Col. 3:12, “Clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”

Being kind to others is also kin to anticipating their needs. It’s attentive, sympathetic, and thoughtful. Its good-hearted, hospitable, and unmistakable. Kindness is rooted in the family tree of love. It’s one of loves’ first two attributes in 1 Cor. 13:4: “Love is patient, love is kind.” And it’s one of the Holy Spirit’s nine fruits: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23).

Kindness can abound to others when it’s a benevolent spirit within us. It’s what my kids expect of themselves because it’s what their mom modeled for them and expected from them. They saw firsthand what it’s like to be compassionate, courteous, and respectful . . . how to live with an open hand and meet needs without being asked. Kindness isn’t for a few, it’s for all: “be kind to all” (2 Tim. 2:24). Being kind isn’t difficult to understand; it’s just hard to do if your heart isn’t in it.

Then again, what’s not to love about God’s loving kindness? Like layer after layer of clothing, let His kindness bundle you up and warm your heart no matter how cold your today may be.

What’s your “K” character quality?

Examples of “K” character qualities include: Keen, Keeper, Keystone, Kind, Kindred, Kingdom-minded, Kneeling, and Known. Click here for a Free Printable Workbook with instructions and 300 sample A-to-Z Secret Sauce of character qualities to choose from.

Questions: How could you model kindness by better caring for your family and others? What “K” word captures the character you want for your family, and why?