Your legacy isn’t what you take with you to eternity, it’s who you take with you. And it’s not what you leave behind, it’s how you help others leave their own legacy.

If your kids chose A-to-Z character qualities, what would they choose for L? Laughter, Leader, Learner, Legacy, Level-headed, Likable, Limitless, Listener, Lively, Longsuffering, Loving, Loyal, or something else?

For the L of my kids’ 26 A-to-Z lists, they chose Loving, Learner, and Limitless – words that reflect their unique character, as well as a common home culture. For example, Anna exudes love, I’m a lifelong learner, and together we taught that a loving God gives you a limitless purpose. My L, though, had to be Legacy-maker, a quality I’m still striving to become.

That’s why my book, Well Done, Mom & Dad!, quotes a letter from my son that includes: “You speak so often of legacy and the impact you want to leave. Your legacy won’t be success as a CFO or father who provided for his kids, though those aren’t bad things. It will be how you loved and pursued the Lord, and how you bettered His kingdom.” Although I cringe at sharing such a personal letter, I’ve seen it encourage many of our seminar attendees to create a legacy, no matter how their kids have been responding.

Making legacies is all about investing. Smart investors learn from past successes and failures, and they leverage current opportunities for future gains. So too, smart parents keep learning and keep believing that their investments truly will matter one day, even when it makes no sense today. How? Because they’re legacy-makers – the perpetuity of character.

Legacy-maker:  The perpetuity of character

All Christian parents want happy, godly kids, but how do you turn good intentions into a godly legacy? You can instruct well and even be a role model, but godly legacies don’t just happen. We don’t just allow them to happen. We don’t just hope they’ll happen. Godly legacies are created – crafted actually – with two foundational elements: 1) a dream and 2) a plan.

Creating a legacy dream

Creating a legacy dream starts with imagining what you want it to be and prayerfully interceding to make that dream a reality. Imagination and intercession. Purpose bathed in prayer. Realities, not fantasies, awaiting clarity. Legacy dreams are fuel and conviction that draw kids to a place they too can envision, to an understanding they too can have, and to a goal they too can articulate.

A great place to start is with two questions: 1) How were you raised? and 2) Are you the parent you prefer to be, or the parent your kids need you to be? For until you come to grips with how you were raised, how can you grasp how you parent by default? And until you realize the kind of parent you really are, how can you truly meet your kids’ needs? And even though we can’t go back and answer these two questions earlier, we can answer them now to create the legacy of our dreams.

Without a dream, how will kids aim for the right targets? But dreams need a plan. Without a plan, how will kids know how to get there? Passing down a godly legacy needs both a dream that imagines and intercedes, as well as a plan that instills and improves.

Creating a legacy plan

We can’t install a godly legacy on our kids; we must instill it in them. What would you give for your kids to live for God? To hunger and thirst for Him and bear the fruit of His vine? That’s the dream for countless Christian parents. It really can happen. And God wants it to happen for you if you’ll create a plan for instilling a godly legacy in your kids.

Godly legacies, though, need plans that change as our kids change. One-size-fits-all parenting doesn’t work because kids need us to become what they need, not who we prefer to be. Why? Because our kids not only come biologically from us, they also flow emotionally and spiritually from us.

But please don’t this mistake . . . don’t tie your identity to your kids’ choices. Jesus didn’t fail because Judas betrayed or Thomas doubted. He succeeded because He fulfilled His God-given purpose. Whether others were faithful or not, Jesus had a dream and a plan to take a legacy of people to heaven and leave a legacy of people doing the same thing on earth.

And so can you.

What’s your “L” character quality?

Click here for a Free Printable Workbook with instructions on how to choose your family’s “L” character quality, along with 300 samples for all 26 A-to-Z character qualities.

Questions: What legacy are you perpetuating both in heaven and on earth? What “L” word reflects the character you want for your family, and why?