Servants inspire you to want to be faithful. Leaders help you to want what you need to be faithful. So if you want a legacy of faithful kids and grandkids, be a servant-leader.

Which of your kids do you love most? What a ridiculous question. I love both of my sons with equal fervor, albeit in different ways. I call them #1 and #1A because Josh came first. Both sons fill a unique spot in my heart, but I can’t favor one or I’d lose them both.

So too with servant-leadership. You can’t favor one – service or leadership – because you love it more. To God, favoring one over the other is simply ridiculous. God loves both service and leadership. Equally. Fully. Sacrificially. Unendingly. He created you to do both, albeit in different ways. And even if you tend to love one more, you’ll be incomplete without embracing both.

God sees servant-leadership as a duality – one incredible quality with two inseparable parts. But service has to come first. Service is #1, and leadership is #1A. Thus, of all the great “S” Secret Sauce character qualities listed below, mine is Servant-leader – the duality of character.

Servant-leader:  The duality of character

Robert K. Greenleaf, who coined the term servant-leader, said, “The servant-leader is servant first…. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead.” He also said the best test is if those served grow as persons and become servants themselves.

#1 – Service

The epitome of servant-leaderships was Jesus, who said, “The greatest among you will be your servant” and “Whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant” (Matt. 23:11, 20:26). Jesus came to wash the feet of others (John 13:12-17). He didn’t “come to be served, but to serve, and give His life a ransom for many” (Matt. 20:28).

Serving is the tool Jesus uses to draw people to His leadership, open us up to receive His embrace, and become world-changers (Acts 17:6). It meets people’s needs in ways that align with who God created them to be. It’s a what with a how by a who for a why. And it causes a wow.

How did God create you to serve? Did you create you to be vocal, or a silent example? Out front, or behind the scenes? Strategical, or as a gap-filler? No one way is best, but the only right way is the way God created you to serve.

Great role models

I’ve have many great role models– people like my parents, Jimmy Draper, Mike Shumsky, Randy Whitley, Scotty Sanders, Cletus Glasener, Randy Moresi, and more. By seeing them and others maximize their giftedness and passions, I am learning how to faithfully maximize mine:

  • Joe Croce –how to create a successful business with inspiring culture
  • Bill Anderson – how to restore trust through unquestioned integrity
  • Forbes Anderson – how to empower leaders to lead
  • Bob Kulick – how to build a loyal, valued team
  • Gary Phillips – how to turn chaos into order
  • Larry Harrington – how to relentlessly challenge people to improve
  • Mike O’Neal – how to be a shepherd leader who lives his mission
  • Len Bussey – how to balance humility with strategic thinking
  • Vernon Rae – how to plan and execute for God’s glory
  • John Meador – how to turn a physical handicap into a springboard
  • Sharon Greving – how to exude grace even in the toughest days
  • Anna Alba – how to live every day with grace and understated elegance

#1A – Leadership

Service is the first half of servant-leadership. Service (#1) earns the right to lead (#1A), but the latter half – leadership – has three parts, each of which is crucial for a joyful, faithful legacy:

Helping others want

what they need

to be faithful.

Leadership starts with three words: “helping others want.” First, leadership helps. It doesn’t force, beg, or cajole. It comes alongside and guides. Second, leadership is all about others, not you. You’re just a catalyst, coach, and conduit. And third, leadership causes others to want something – your help – or at least helps them be more receptive to wanting it. Once you’ve stirred their “want to,” others are ready for the second part of leadership.

The second part of leadership is: “what they need.” Not what you want, what you need, or what they want. Leadership helps others want what they need. Too often, people in leadership roles are in charge, but don’t lead. They focus on their own wants and needs, or they try to accommodate others’ selfish or myopic wants. True leaders focus on what others need, which is much, much harder because it takes significant time, effort, and discipline to learn what others need, instead of projecting your own needs and wants on them.

And third, leaders are stewards. And what is required of every steward is that they be found faithful (1 Cor. 4:12). If you’re not leading others to experience the last part of leadership (“to be faithful”), you’re not leading. Help that doesn’t lead to faithfulness isn’t helpful. You can’t force anyone to receive this kind of help, but you can help them know how to hear, “Well done!” from God and their family . . . and help them want to. Anything less is well intended, but not well done.

Servant-leaders lead by serving, and they serve by leading. Wanting, needing, and faithful are three interwoven stands of one rope called servant-leadership. It doesn’t happen just because you want it. It happens by serving humbly in love (Gal. 5:13) and leading with a wholehearted devotion and a willing mind (1 Chron. 28:9).

I’m convinced that my grandkids can become servant-leaders too because of one reason: their parents are servant-leaders. My kids didn’t choose Servant-leader as their “S” character quality, but they chose words that make it possible: Servant-hearted, Spirit-filled, and Self-disciplined. And if my kids live out their chosen character qualities, my grandkids will, in turn, likely want what they need to be faithful – another generation of #1 and #1A servant-leadership.

What’s your “S” character quality?

Examples of “S” character qualities include: Safe, Sanctified, Self-discipline, Sensitive, Sent, Sentimental, Servant, Servant-leader, Significance, Sincere, Spirit-filled, Strategic, Steward, Supportive, Surrender, and more. For help in picking all 26 of your A-to-Z Secret Sauce qualities, click here for a Free Printable Workbook, instructions and 300 A-to-Z examples.

Questions: In what ways could you better serve and lead your family? What “S” word best expresses a character quality you want for your family, and why?