There once was a grand old shepherd who told his young protégé, “When you find a church that helps you raise your kids, stay there.” That shepherd was my father-in-law, Royce, whose advice was not only wise, it was also prophetic.

For 35 years, First Euless/Cross City Church has been there for my family. I never dreamed that after serving as a volunteer for 25 years, God would want me to surrender my financial career to be our executive/admin pastor. Then, even more surprisingly, He called me to surrender my pastoral career and again be a church volunteer and financial executive.

It’s not the path that Anna and I planned. We planned to move back home near our parents, but we stayed for one reason . . . the same reason we didn’t leave when things at church got hard – ugly actually. That reason: because our church truly became family.

How a church became family

Our church is filled with thousands of godly people. But like any family, some are dysfunctional. And what do you do with broken, selfish family members? You love them. Why? Because they’re family. And family sticks together. Through thick and thin. No matter what.

Feelings can get hurt in a biological family too, but you don’t bail. You lean in. You listen, empathize, and preserve the unity. Same with a church family. For whatever reason, God called Anna and me to stay. To build. To forgive. To be part of the solution at this amazing home called First Euless/Cross City Church.

Our church has had such a great cloud of witnesses who served no matter what – people like Billie Jean Moon, Addie Anderson, and Betty Sheppard. They showed us how serving your church lets you pay back those saints who paved the way and pay forward those families that desperately need you to do the same for them.

I used to wonder why so many church members invested in us. Then I realized it had little to do with us and everything to do with their love for God. To each Senior Pastor, I wasn’t a dumb sheep, I was a dear friend. They poured their hearts into mine. So too, scores of faithful ministers and volunteers helped my kids see church as an outrageously exciting place to grow in God, not an obligatory place to check a box for God.

Like I’m trying to do with my own family, my church created a culture of compelling vision and timeless character. They showed me how to lead myself well so that I can lead my family well. They taught me to evangelize, disciple, and mentor. Servants like Sharon Smith, Dianna Booher, Elizabeth O’Neal, and Sharon Heizer mirrored Christ’s humility and love. And mentors like Gary Phillips, Bryan Lakey, Doug Berg, and Charles Thornton modeled inspiring faithfulness to God’s calling.

Here are just seven of the life lessons that my church family has taught me about the joy of living like Christ.

7 life lessons learned at church

  1. To care deeply – even when it’s not appreciated.
  2. To serve selflessly – even when it’s not reciprocated.
  3. To trust wholeheartedly – even when circumstances scream otherwise.
  4. To live generously – even when money gets tight and it doesn’t make sense.
  5. To gaze intently – even when certain people seem worthy of only a glance.
  6. To act urgently – even when I’m busy and other people’s needs won’t go away.
  7. To love unconditionally – even for those I love the least.

No, my church isn’t perfect. Far from it. But it’s family. My family. And as is the case with loving Christ, it’s easy to love my church because they first loved me.

Do you have a church family, not just a place to worship? Yes, you may get your feelings hurt or God may call you to serve Him elsewhere. Still, know this: Royce was right. Find a church that helps you raise your kids and stay there. Grow roots. Invest. Through good times and bad, it can become a lifelong partner . . . a spiritual soulmate . . . a church home, not just a church house.

Thus, I join God in saying to the people of First Euless/Cross City Church, “Well done, church! Now, use the ‘talents’ I’ve given you to reach more people for Me than ever before.”

Questions: Do you want a church that meets your preferences or where you meet other people’s needs? If you already have a church family, will you love its broken people who need you? If you’re still searching, I pray that my father-in-law’s wise words will be the answer to your prayer. Who knows, it might even be my church. Just sayin’.